3 Warning Signs You Have Coaching Blindness

In any health issue, there are symptoms anyone can see and symptoms only the patient can see.

There’s a saying: “When everyone tells you’re drunk, you should go to sleep.”

A patient should go to the doctors when his symptoms coincide with the symptoms anyone can see.

Let’s see what the symptoms for “coaching blindness” are.

1. You feel exhausted, and others tell you you look tired.

I currently coach a corporate director on her next three years’ strategy to become an entrepreneur. We meet Saturday afternoons virtually, and one of my first sentences during our first session was, “We are already 15 minutes in our coaching session, and you continue sending emails and solving job stuff while we are here together, you seem not to be present”. She was trying to articulate what she wants from the coaching program while occupying herself with some job emails, on a Saturday afternoon.

In this case, coaching blindness is about you not seeing how “I have to work hard to get somewhere” belief plays out in your life. Is replacing “hard” with “smart” a cure for blindness? What about “play” instead of “work”? What about “want to” instead of “have to”? What about “to enjoy life” instead of “to get somewhere”?

Blindness symptom #1: you do not see your impact on yourself.

2. You feel you are the king of the world, and others say you are the king of the underworld.

Three months ago, I had been coaching this corporate director on his communication style. The 360 leadership values and behaviors assessment showed a significant difference in the way he perceived his communication style and what his peers and reports received. He was sure he says everything, in time, with high accuracy, empathically. They said he misses each point. They did not understand anything, not in time for them to act, not entirely, and felt threatened all the time. So, they did not comply, did not agree, did not work.

Blindness symptom #2: you do not see your impact on others.

3. You feel torn apart, and others say you look great.

Nature is not good or bad. A tree has no morality. Part of natural life, people are not mean or good. They hardly want to grow, evolve, and perpetuate, like any other species on this planet.

Once I had a client who never closed the door to his directorial office. There was a constant queue of people outside his office waiting for his attention, advice, and direction. We had our coaching meetings interrupted continuously by email, phone calls, paper notices handled by her secretary. She complained about not having time to finish anything of significance. All the other people I asked about her values were saying she was a great manager of people. She was such a great manager of people and a lousy manager of tasks and personal needs. And sometimes she used to say people are mean (with her time).

When you feel used is just because you offer to others more than you provide yourself. It is not good or bad. It is just sickening at times. At these times, you need healthier personal boundaries. Otherwise, you are going to be of no good to others anymore.

Blindness symptom #3: you do not see others’ impact on yourself.

Opportunity

Blindness can be corrected. Opening the eyes might hurt you in the beginning, and still, in the long run, you will love your awakened life. Coaching is one of the methods of curing blindness and reaching inner mastery.